


Testing the Waters

by TWSD



Series: Transitioned [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Hilda POV, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Marianne POV, Secret Crush, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Marianne von Edmund, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:09:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26069989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWSD/pseuds/TWSD
Summary: “Um, really Hilda, you don’t. I-I’m…” Hideous. Ugly. Grotesque. All the bad things she could possibly think of. “A freak-”“Hold it right there.” Hilda interrupts by pushing her finger into Marianne’s lips. “Don’t say that, Marianne, don’t you know how beautiful you are? Do you really think you don’t look good?” She tries to chirp oh so cheerfully. But Marianne can see that pained look in her eyes. That disappointment. Maybe she finally realized she’s not worth all that. She prayed she did.“I don’t Hilda. I’m not beautiful.” Her head bows as she stares down at nothing.“Nonsense.” Hilda’s head shakes. “I won’t allow you to see yourself that way.”TW: this fic contains content pertaining to gender dysphoria
Relationships: Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril
Series: Transitioned [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893283
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Testing the Waters

“I… Shouldn’t. I’m sorry Hilda.” Marianne shook her head as she bundled up on the sun chair, not wanting to budge an inch.

“Come on Marianne! It’s soooo nice!~” Hilda splashes a little of the lukewarm and chlorinated water up onto the pool deck. She still doesn’t move.

“I don’t have a swimsuit-”

“That’s not an excuse, I already said you could use one of mine, we have almost the same size anyways, yeah?” That’s only because of your shoulders, Marianne hisses to her head, unable to do as much as imagine herself  _ ruining _ one of Hilda’s favorite sets.

“Um…” It’ll get in the way. Idiot. She’ll see the real you.

“So why not hop in, I promise I’ll show you some fun~” Hilda teases with an implication of something only the goddess could know.

“I think I’m having enough fun up here…” Marianne sighs, pulling her sweater over her legs as she curls up. She hated it, always having to hide around her. But she needed to, lest she lose her only friend. Lest she learn her truth.

Hilda blows air from her nose, finally stepping out of the night’s deep water. Goddess, she was really something to behold. Her body was definition perfect, clear skin covering every angle. No acne, no bumps, no hair, no  _ scars _ . No imperfections. And of course the prettiest face. Those pink eyes lit up, even in the dark of midnight. At this point she could just keep listing things on and on. Her lips, her smile, her perfect teeth, her hair that never seemed to frizz up or break, and her cute little nose… She didn’t know if she was attracted too, but jealous? Certainly. How could she not be? Hilda was  _ everything _ she wanted to be, and more. Normal. Not a freak.

“Marianne, why are you being such a downer?” She strides over, her arms crossed. Was she angry?

“I should just leave Hilda, I shouldn’t be here.” Marianne whimpers, folding into her sweater more, god forbid she lays those gentle eyes upon her hideousness.

“Come on Marianne, if I didn’t want you here do you think I would have invited you over in the first place?” Hilda smirks. Well, she could be a liar sometimes she knew, but Hilda doing something she didn’t like? Well, she’s done those kinds of things for Marianne before, things like cleaning or homework she couldn’t understand. So maybe it wasn’t too unfeasible. It missed the point anyways. So what if she wanted her here? She wouldn’t once she knew the truth.

“It doesn’t matter, I  _ shouldn’t _ be here.” She reiterated to Hilda as well.

“I don’t understand, do you not want to hang out with me?” Her face twisted into something sad, but even more so than the usual puppy dog eyes she’d give boys. It looked genuinely bitter. Good going Marianne, you hurt Hilda.

She shook her head. “You know so many better people to hang out with, so why me? I don’t like swimming, I’ve told you that already.” Marianne sighed her final argument, opting to unfurl from her fabrics and plant her feet on the floor to signify her departure.

Hilda’s eyes roll, in relief of no real bad news. “Marianne!~” She sings. “Marianne, Marianne~ If I wanted to hang out with those guys I would have! I want to hang out with  _ you _ .” She gets painfully closer. “I want to see more of you…” She says in a manner that’s a little too seductive, and far too close for comfort. Enough to make Marianne jump back actually.

“I’m… Sorry, Hilda. You really don’t want to see that.” She admits. Goddess, please save her.

“Oh come on, Marianne, I know how pretty you are under all those clothes! You can hide it from the boys but not from me~” She giggles, pulling on the hem of her sweater.

“Um, really Hilda, you don’t. I-I’m…” Hideous. Ugly. Grotesque. All the bad things she could possibly think of. “A freak-”

“Hold it right there.” Hilda interrupts by pushing her finger into Marianne’s lips. “Don’t say that, Marianne, don’t you know how beautiful you are? Do you really think you don’t look good?” She tries to chirp oh so cheerfully. But Marianne can see that pained look in her eyes. That  _ disappointment. _ Maybe she finally realized she’s not worth all that. She prayed she did.

“I don’t Hilda. I’m not beautiful.” Her head bows as she stares down at nothing.

“Nonsense.” Hilda’s head shakes. “I won’t allow you to see yourself that way.”

“Um-”

“Marianne Edmund, you are  _ the _ cutest girl in all of Fodlan, and beyond.” Hilda gets all close again, planting a short kiss on her cheek. “You have the most drop dead gorgeous eyes, and those cheekbones are to  _ die _ for. Did I even mention your smile? Those teeth are perfect!”

“Hil-”

“And you have such a stunning figure, those legs of yours are  _ hot _ . Not to mention your, ah, girls.” She blushes at that last one.

“Hild-”

“And you’re so toned! Not like me and my squishy stomach! Seriously Marianne! Don’t you realize how alluring you are?”

“Hilda!” Marianne snaps, yelling into the girl’s face. “I am  _ NOT _ beautiful, or gorgeous, or stunning, or any of those things! I’m just-” Tears begin to roll from her eyes. “I’m just a freak!”

“Shhh! Marianne, don’t say that!” Hilda tries to comfort her with a tight hug, but she just pushes away.

“Please, Hilda, I’m not worth it. I’m just-” Hideous. Ugly. A man in a skirt. Every insult under the rainbow really. Just a stupid, deformed tr-

“Hilda?!” Marianne jumps once one of her sleeves is rolled up. It doesn’t stop Hilda though, who pulls her back in and plants a kiss on her scars.

“Beautiful. You’re just beautiful.” Hilda remarks with a brightness in her eyes, that matched the light of even the goddess. Oh, that was so blasphemous to think, but it was the truth.

She plants another kiss on her wrist, and then another, and another. All the while singing praises to Marianne and her body.

“These don’t define you, Marianne.” She lands a kiss onto the girl’s cheek, standing still in her shock.

“Um… Hilda.” Marianne sheepishly rings her fingers together.

“Oh. Sorry… I’ve overstepped haven’t I?” Hilda giggled, trying to hide the obvious hurt in her voice.

“N-no!” Marianne quickly rebuttals. “I just- um- thank you for being my friend.” Marianne smiles sincerely. Maybe she didn’t get the point, but, she was trying. And that’s all Marianne could ask of her.

* * *

  
  


“I… Shouldn’t. I’m sorry Hilda.” Marianne shook her head as she bundled up on the sun chair, not wanting to budge an inch.

“Come on Marianne! It’s soooo nice!~” Hilda splashes a little of the lukewarm and chlorinated water up onto the pool deck. She still doesn’t move. No fun!

“I don’t have a swimsuit-”

“That’s not an excuse, I already said you could use one of mine, we have almost the same size anyways, yeah?” Hilda shoots her a smile, but Marianne’s frown just grows larger.

“Um…” She mumbles, like she’s trying to avoid something.

“So why not hop in, I promise I’ll show you some fun~” Hilda teases and giggles. Come on Marianne, you’re never any fun~

“I think I’m having enough fun up here…” Marianne sighs, pulling her sweater over her legs as she curls up. She hated it, how Marianne was always so distant, no matter how close she got. It really was like the girl was trying to avoid her.

Hilda blows air from her nose, finally stepping out of the night’s deep water.

“Marianne, why are you being such a downer?” She strides over, her arms crossed. She had to push, lest Marianne never leave her comfort zone. She didn’t want to tear her from it though either.

“I should just leave Hilda, I shouldn’t be here.” Marianne whimpers, folding into her sweater more, just farther away. Dammit Hilda, you’re really not helping here!

“Come on Marianne, if I didn’t want you here do you think I would have invited you over in the first place?” Hilda smirks. Surely Marianne must have realized she had a point, but the girl's mind always worked in mysterious ways, she’d find a way to twist it. Was she just not doing enough? Right, she had to try harder for Marianne.

“It doesn’t matter, I  _ shouldn’t _ be here.” She reiterated to Hilda as well. Oh, was it like that?

“I don’t understand, do you not want to hang out with me?” Hilda gave sad eyes as she pondered the idea. Did Marianne not see her as a friend? How would she get closer if that were the case? Good going Hilda.

She shook her head. “You know so many better people to hang out with, so why me? I don’t like swimming, I’ve told you that already.” Marianne sighed, standing from her sweater roll, clearly ready to leave. Ok good, so it wasn’t that she hated her.

She just hated herself.

  
  


Hilda’s eyes roll. “Marianne!~” She sings. “Marianne, Marianne~ If I wanted to hang out with those guys I would have! I want to hang out with  _ you _ .” She takes some steps towards Marianne. “I want to see more of you…” She says in truth. Did Marianne ever realize how close Hilda  _ actually _ wanted them to be?

“I’m… Sorry, Hilda. You really don’t want to see that.” Oh Marianne, but she does!~

“Oh come on, Marianne, I know how pretty you are under all those clothes! You can hide it from the boys but not from me~” She giggles, pulling on the hem of Marianne’s baggy sweatshirt.

“Um, really Hilda, you don’t. I-I’m… A freak-”

“Hold it right there.” Hilda interrupts by pushing her finger into Marianne’s lips. “Don’t say that, Marianne, don’t you know how beautiful you are? Do you really think you don’t look good?” She tried to convince her. Tried anything. She had to try, at least.

“I don’t Hilda. I’m not beautiful.” Her head falls.

“Nonsense.” Hilda’s head shakes. “I won’t allow you to see yourself that way.”

“Um-”

“Marianne Edmund, you are  _ the _ cutest girl in all of Fodlan, and beyond.” Hilda gets oh so dangerously close to Marianne, pecking her cheek with her glossed up lips. She was really so beautiful. “You have the most drop dead gorgeous eyes, and those cheekbones are to  _ die _ for. Did I even mention your smile? Those teeth are perfect!” She was perfect; and gorgeous, and alluring, and every other synonym for fucking  _ hot _ .

“Hil-”

“And you have such a stunning figure, those legs of yours are  _ hot _ . Not to mention your, ah, girls.” Her face reddens upon bringing up her chest. Marianne’s, er,  _ Marianne’s. _ They were as big as Hilda’s, and she could have sworn they used to be smaller, but maybe Hilda just got used to seeing her in more revealing items over time.

“Hild-”

“And you’re so toned! Not like me and my squishy stomach! Seriously Marianne! Don’t you realize how alluring you are?” She was truly beautiful, she didn’t need makeup, or anything else, she was just drop dead-

“Hilda!” Marianne snaps, yelling all of a sudden. “I am  _ NOT _ beautiful, or gorgeous, or stunning, or any of those things! I’m just-” Tears come from her eyes.“I’m just a freak!”

“Shhh! Marianne, don’t say that!” Hilda tries to comfort her, only being pushed away.

“Please, Hilda, I’m not worth it. I’m just-”

“Hilda?!” Marianne jumps as Hilda rolls a sleeve up, planting a kiss on her wrists, where cuts had lay once upon a time. They didn’t change her beauty, not one bit.

“Beautiful. You’re just beautiful.” Hilda remarks her truth yet again. Nothing Marianne would say or could say will change her mind. To her, Marianne Von Edmund is the most beautiful girl on earth.

She plants another kiss on her wrist, and then another, and another. All the while singing praises to Marianne and her body.

“These don’t define you, Marianne.” She lands a kiss onto the girl’s cheek. One more to let her know her love. She wished it could have been her lips.

“Um… Hilda.” Marianne sheepishly rings her fingers together.

“Oh. Sorry… I’ve overstepped haven’t I?” Hilda giggled, trying to hide the obvious hurt in her voice.

“N-no!” Marianne quickly rebuttals. “I just- um- thank you for being my friend.” Marianne smiles, and oh goddess, that smile. Every time she saw it her heart melted and pulsed, ready to burst from her chest. Goddess… She loved Marianne.

  
  



End file.
